Loving Like A Champion

Most ladies say a good man is hard to find hard to find. That is not true. There is authentic goodness at the core of all of us. Relationships are hard and marriage can be tough. It is a huge challenge for a man to work all day whether it is at the office, in a mine shaft or out on the farm in this economy and in these times of harsh drought; only to come home to a wife who is neck deep in anxiety and frustration over the stack of bills she got from the mailbox and kids with long lists of school requirements and requests to please play football/catch.

Let’s face it seems easier sometimes to just go park yourself in a bar after work and find a moment to call your own; drink up that “dutch courage” then head home in your state of euphoria. Easier in that moment perhaps, but certainly not more fulfilling in the long run. Even in the worst of times, a man can remain at his best and love his family like a champion.

Some of the ways a man can do this is by starting a culture of spaces in his home. Every family needs spaces and gaps for different things such as  playtime as a family, connect time as a family, family logistics time, connecting time with your spouse and “being” space for much needed alone time or quiet time. By talking it through, families can work together to meet each others need for different spaces at home.

Another way is being mindful of the differences between yourself and your spouse. Men and women are different. That is what keeps the world fun and interesting. Comedian and motivational speaker Mark Gungor jokes about how different men and women’s brains are. He says men’s brains consist of boxes, there is a box for everything and none of the boxes are connected. Women on the other hand have a gazillion wires in their brain and absolutely everything is connected. Whether we agree with that parody or not, the fact is we are different, and for the most part a husband spends time trying to make their wives think more like men and wives spend time trying to make men think more like women. Conflicts and disagreements would be resolved faster if we accept we are different and find workable solutions for all.

COUPLE for Feb

Traditionally, especially in Africa, men are expected to be strong leaders and decision makers. This doesn’t mean you are expected to control your wife. Loving your wife or girlfriend like a champion doesn’t mean fixing her or fixing her problems, sometimes all it entails is being there and providing a safe space for her to express herself. Although you are the head of the family you are not expected to know it all or have all the answers. The word of God says, “the steps of a man are established by the Lord, when he delights in his way” Psalm 37:23. When a man looks to God as his head, his way as the head of the family is lit with grace and he will be guided. Such a man will find that he has and is everything he needs to love like a champion.